Funny quotes

Here are some random quotes that made me laugh.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
-Rita Mae Brown.

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
-Jimmy Durante

"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"
-John Mendosa.

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
-Steven Wright

"On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away."
-Tom Lehrer

Did you have a favorite?